Many years ago, during one of my life coaching classes, I took part in a discussion of fate versus personal choice. It wasn’t surprising, because of the subject matter, to see everyone in the class pick the argument that our lives are totally ours to choose what to do. I found myself standing alone among two dozen people. My argument is that life is both.
I’ve always had a hard time making the argument for one versus the other. To say everything is fated takes away any freedom in our choices and to say that everything is personal choice takes away the possibility of a bigger picture (a view larger than all of us combined.)
I maintain that the universe, God, the collective consciousness – life – has at least an overview of a designed path for each of us. Within that design we have the free will to choose whatever direction we want, including the ability to go completely opposite of the big picture. The issue that arises is that life isn’t always clear about which direction it wants us to take. This leads to a lot of bumbling around, testing different options, and making some less than perfect moves.
What I’ve found is if the desired direction is a very important one, life will keep throwing it in front of you, no matter how many times you wonder away from it. Writing this blog is a good example. I’ve been told by a multitude of people over the past four or five years that I should be sharing my thoughts with everyone. I kept choosing to not do it, and yes I had plenty of excuses of why I couldn’t do it – it wasn’t always a conscious choice to turn away. Yet, time and again someone else would bring it back to my attention until now when I decided to follow it.
I don’t know why it so important for me to write this regularly, but it is. Maybe it’s to help you with your life path choices. Maybe it’s to help me with my life choices. Maybe it’s some of both. While the final goal may not be clear, it is clear this is what I should be doing and I’ve made a choice to do it. I can say that a part of me is relieved and excited about this path while another part is scared and stressed, but that’s a story for another day.
The point I’m trying to make is life has a design, a fate if you will, for each of us. At the same time, we have the free will to choose whatever direction we want to follow, regardless of how that fits with the big design. The best part of being able to make our own choices is that we never have to stay with any one choice. If one way isn’t right, we can go another way or another way.
If you find yourself really stressing over the path you are on, it’s probably because there are new choices for you to make. Is it time to make a different choice to get a different, and maybe better, result? Who knows it might relieve the stress and increase your life’s excitement.
The other part of this is by not making different choices as life goes on, how do we expect anything to change. If something works, you stick with it. If something fails, why would we keep doing it and expecting things to change. Life changes as we do, that’s just how it is. If you look at all the things you have done in life, each change contains an element of risk. The risk we run not changing can be even more quantitative. Good stuff!
Good point, Matt. What’s that line from that Rush song — “if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice?”
Hi Matt enjoyed reading your Blog.
From the time, we are born, probably even before then, at the moment of conception our fate and destiny are decided, it is in the order of things, controlled by the enduring laws of the universe, and there is no escape. Our very existence controlled by fate. Every person has a destiny only fate makes this work, the passing of time weaving these moments, throughout our lives fate playing its part securing the course of events leading to our ultimate destiny.
I once discussed with a person the difference between fate and destiny. Most would say the difference is subtle a fine line, this is not so! Destiny is why we are here on earth. Fate is the tool of our destiny? Fate’ it’s a word a notion we believe exist, a double edge sword the devil’s disciple, by its very nature fate takes away our choices, yet the choice it allows our destiny. What is our destiny? How do you decide your destiny by the choice we make, but isn’t that fate.
Are all events predetermined? Take for instance you are lost in a wood and come to a path. Which ways to go! You choose left take ten steps and turn around going in the opposite direction; but’ you were always going right, fate had decided.
When you consider the tragic sinking of the Titanic, Why such a tragedy! More to the point, why did the three fates bring all those souls together in that single placed aboard a doomed ship? I wonder how many forsaken people as the ship slipped below the ocean waters wishing that had never made that fateful choice of being on that ship their lives ending. I suspect all! How many believing this way their destiny I suspect none. ‘Atropos’ she in the final act of cutting their thread of life. For those who survived’ maybe they had prayed to god believing god had speared their lives. Then there were others who had no time for such things their instincts telling them. Find a way to survive; they were not ready for death. Whether it had been prayers, or instinct for survival? No’ matter, for all on that ship, fate had chosen death or life. By talking of destiny, what of our destiny? I have this notion when we die; the legacy of our lives is that which we leave behind, this is our destiny is too create the future. Regardless’ as we are able making conscious decisions fate decides as I said all is predetermined. From the very beginning of time your parents their parent and so-on choices they made are the end result of you being here on our planet. There is no escape fate has decided.